Dark Days

During the following week, the Student came over to my house a few times. We watched movies and he cooked for me. There was kissing and sex. We were becoming more and more comfortable with each other and it was fun.

Then I had a couple of dark days. My ex was in the process of moving the rest of his stuff out of the house. I would come home from work and my house would be a little messier, and I could tell he had been going through my stuff in the bathroom. I was livid.

For about a week prior to this, the Student would talk about certain things, implying that we would still be together in a couple of months. At the time I thought it was nice that he thought we would still be together as far away as Christmas, but during my dark days I found myself overanalyzing it. I started to feel like the feelings were becoming slightly skewed, and maybe more serious on his side. Then I received a text from him that he had bought us tickets to a show that was over a month away. Cue the panic attack- I was feeling like my interest was waning because he was coming on too strong.

My cousin and I went to the gym that night and I told her how I was feeling about the whole thing. She mentioned how we love the thrill of the chase, and once we get them, we lose interest. Yup, that was exactly what was happening.

The next evening, he came over for another night of supper, TV, etc. He was very sweet and I immediately regreted the negative feelings I had been projecting toward him. I made myself a promise- I was going to enjoy my time with him and not obsess over the future. I would live in the moment.

I would save the panic for when he starts using the "L" word.