I received a batch of new matches on Friday night. As I was viewing the profiles, one caught my eye. Not because I thought he would be a potential love match, but because he looked familiar. Too familiar.
It was my step-brother.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Eeep.
Okay. I got rid of my two free online dating profiles. Knowing as many people as I did freaked me out and I was starting to get messages from creepy men that were really old. So enough of that.
I decided to bite the bullet and actually pay for an eHarmony account. I have heard good things, and the commercials have that happy, peppy music. If you are awesome like me, you will recognize the song from "While You Were Sleeping".
So I figure, eHarmony will make my life like "While You Were Sleeping". I will work at a subway toll booth and look longingly at a guy who comes through the subway each day. And after he is pushed on the tracks and I save his life, I will fall in love with his brother, get married, and he will take me to Italy. Yup, it will be just like that.
For the record, 5 out of my 8 matches look like they could be mistaken for my father.
I decided to bite the bullet and actually pay for an eHarmony account. I have heard good things, and the commercials have that happy, peppy music. If you are awesome like me, you will recognize the song from "While You Were Sleeping".
So I figure, eHarmony will make my life like "While You Were Sleeping". I will work at a subway toll booth and look longingly at a guy who comes through the subway each day. And after he is pushed on the tracks and I save his life, I will fall in love with his brother, get married, and he will take me to Italy. Yup, it will be just like that.
For the record, 5 out of my 8 matches look like they could be mistaken for my father.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Online Dating
Online dating intimidates the crap out of me. Not having anyone to vouch for the guys you can meet is scary. How do you know they don't have a criminal record a mile long? Or the guys who say they are homeowners live with their mothers?
I figured I would slowly face my fear and create a profile. No pic, just a brief description of what I was looking for. I would stay anonymous for a little while.
I did get several messages from different guys. Some appreciated my humour in my writing, some simply said "hi", and one proposed. After reading some of these messages, I was feeling guilty because they were brave enough to post a pic, but that was enough for me to pass on replying to their message. Physically, none of them were my type. They don't know what I look like but they were taking a chance anyway. I actually felt bad enough that I was going to reply to them just to be nice, but in the end I felt it was best not to lead them on.
In the end, I came to realize another reason why online dating scares me so much. It's the preconceived notion that online dating is for pathetic people who can't get a date. I came across several profiles of guys I know personally and I felt pity for them. I guess I don't want people to pity me in return. In my head, I know it's a good way to meet people as it's very hard to meet available guys in this city. But I can't shake that feeling that it is for hopeless schmucks.
And my original concern of not really knowing who these guys are was solidified. One of the guys I know personally listed his occupation as "Management/Restaurateur". He is a manager at McDonald's. 'Nuff said.
I figured I would slowly face my fear and create a profile. No pic, just a brief description of what I was looking for. I would stay anonymous for a little while.
I did get several messages from different guys. Some appreciated my humour in my writing, some simply said "hi", and one proposed. After reading some of these messages, I was feeling guilty because they were brave enough to post a pic, but that was enough for me to pass on replying to their message. Physically, none of them were my type. They don't know what I look like but they were taking a chance anyway. I actually felt bad enough that I was going to reply to them just to be nice, but in the end I felt it was best not to lead them on.
In the end, I came to realize another reason why online dating scares me so much. It's the preconceived notion that online dating is for pathetic people who can't get a date. I came across several profiles of guys I know personally and I felt pity for them. I guess I don't want people to pity me in return. In my head, I know it's a good way to meet people as it's very hard to meet available guys in this city. But I can't shake that feeling that it is for hopeless schmucks.
And my original concern of not really knowing who these guys are was solidified. One of the guys I know personally listed his occupation as "Management/Restaurateur". He is a manager at McDonald's. 'Nuff said.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Here We Go!
28 and single. It is the most frightening thing I've had to deal with in a long time.
Quick recap: When I was 20, I met a boy. We both fell for each other and were engaged after 3 months of dating. It was a whirlwind relationship that did not have a lot of courtship. I didn't have to try too hard. There wasn't the excitement of a crush because it all happened so fast. He wore his heart on his sleeve so I never had to wonder what he was feeling. It lacked the butterflies and heartbeat skipping that results from an epic romance, but I was okay with that. We had our ups and downs as any couple would, but there were some issues that we couldn't overcome. It resulted in me losing all trust in him and I ended the engagement three months ago. An 8 year relationship was over.
So here I am. It's hard to even imagine dating again when, for so long, I thought I was done with dating. I was with the man I was going to marry. I used to joke with my ex and say that we would never break up because I would be too scared to date again. I wasn't entirely joking.
I struggle with low self-confidence when it comes to dating. Before I was engaged, I only casually dated a handful of guys. It wasn't that guys never expressed interest in me- they did, but they were guys that I had no interest in. I can only recall once when a guy I was crazy about finally expressed the same feelings back- only to go back to his old girlfriend a few weeks later.
So here I am. Feeling like I am 19 years old again and I don't know how to date. I do have a small flicker of hope that I will find a guy who I am crazy about and he will be just as crazy about me, and we can live out that epic Hollywood Romance that all girls dream about, with the butterflies and heartbeat skipping included. But for now, I just want to have some fun and be reassured that I am not a hopeless cause.
Wish me luck.
Quick recap: When I was 20, I met a boy. We both fell for each other and were engaged after 3 months of dating. It was a whirlwind relationship that did not have a lot of courtship. I didn't have to try too hard. There wasn't the excitement of a crush because it all happened so fast. He wore his heart on his sleeve so I never had to wonder what he was feeling. It lacked the butterflies and heartbeat skipping that results from an epic romance, but I was okay with that. We had our ups and downs as any couple would, but there were some issues that we couldn't overcome. It resulted in me losing all trust in him and I ended the engagement three months ago. An 8 year relationship was over.
So here I am. It's hard to even imagine dating again when, for so long, I thought I was done with dating. I was with the man I was going to marry. I used to joke with my ex and say that we would never break up because I would be too scared to date again. I wasn't entirely joking.
I struggle with low self-confidence when it comes to dating. Before I was engaged, I only casually dated a handful of guys. It wasn't that guys never expressed interest in me- they did, but they were guys that I had no interest in. I can only recall once when a guy I was crazy about finally expressed the same feelings back- only to go back to his old girlfriend a few weeks later.
So here I am. Feeling like I am 19 years old again and I don't know how to date. I do have a small flicker of hope that I will find a guy who I am crazy about and he will be just as crazy about me, and we can live out that epic Hollywood Romance that all girls dream about, with the butterflies and heartbeat skipping included. But for now, I just want to have some fun and be reassured that I am not a hopeless cause.
Wish me luck.
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