Is the Student "The One"? It's the million dollar question.
Both my cousin and my work friend have told me, "You're going to marry him." Have I thought about it? Of course I have. I'm female. Obviously I am not ready to get married any time soon, but I have seriously considered that the Student is very possibly The One. I say that cautiously as it has only been 6 months, and I am a strong believer that living together is the ultimate test of whether you can marry a person.
With The Ex, I had no interest in having a wedding or getting married. Hence the long engagement. Marriage was just a piece of paper. And I was always against a wedding due to several factors: they are too expensive, I don't want to be the center of attention, I don't want the stress of planning a wedding, and I don't trust my parents to be in the same room without causing a scene. On our third date, the Student and I had talked about weddings. I was very vocal about my lack of desire to have a wedding, whereas he was excited to one day have a huge wedding. I remember thinking, "Well. This will never work."
As the months passed and I found myself falling in love with him, my opinions slowly started to change. At first I was thinking, "If it's that important to him, then I would do it. I would put up with a big wedding to make him happy." But I recently found myself casually exploring the "Wedding & Events" category on Pinterest. I found myself wondering what kind of dress I would wear. It made me think of the movie "27 Dresses" when Katherine Heigel's character says "You know how the bride makes her entrance and everybody turns to look at her? That’s when I look at the groom. Cause his face says it all you know? The pure love there." I want to see that look on his face. I want all of our family and friends to witness us affirming our love for each other, and becoming husband and wife. I want to have a party to celebrate the fact that we found each other and will be together for the rest of our lives.
I finally understand it now.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Lucky
*Warning: Lovey-dovey mushy post ahead. May cause nausea.
As of yesterday, the Student and I have been together for six months. We didn't celebrate in any special way, but he came over and I made us supper. We reminisced about our time together, as we do quite frequently, and shared some of our thoughts that we had during the course of our relationship. We laughed at how silly we both were and talked about how lucky we were to find each other.
I often think to myself, "What did I do to deserve him? Why am I so lucky?" There is a girl I work with who is my age, pregnant with her first child. She has just moved in with her boyfriend and we often share our relationship stories. But I find I often hold back when I tell her about the Student because her current relationship is comparable to mine with the Ex. Her boyfriend does not go out of his way to make her happy; in fact, most everything revolves around him. But he is the father of her baby, so she tends to put up with it. I don't want to shove my near-perfect relationship in her face.
I know how fortunate I am. I want to shout from the rooftops about how happy I am. But I know it is growing old with some people. Hell, over six months ago I would have wanted to slap someone like me across the face just to bring her down a notch. My cousin and the Best Friend are supportive of me and are so happy that I am with someone who treats me right. They are both happily married, so I don't feel like I have to hold back my glee with them. And why wouldn't I want to talk about my boyfriend? The only other thing that consumes my time is my job, and that's usually boring or depressing.
Last weekend, I came across a tumblr page called "Win My Heart". The young writer posts all the various ways a guy can win her heart. It's very cute and satisfies my inner high-schooler. I found myself reading all of the posts, over 100 in total. The Student does over 90% of the things that are listed. This makes my inner high-schooler very happy, as I had always fantasized about having a boyfriend that had all of those qualities. It makes me want to curl up under the covers, crank up Avril Lavigne, and re-read his text messages to me.
It took me 10 years but I finally found him.
I am so incredibly fucking lucky.
As of yesterday, the Student and I have been together for six months. We didn't celebrate in any special way, but he came over and I made us supper. We reminisced about our time together, as we do quite frequently, and shared some of our thoughts that we had during the course of our relationship. We laughed at how silly we both were and talked about how lucky we were to find each other.
I often think to myself, "What did I do to deserve him? Why am I so lucky?" There is a girl I work with who is my age, pregnant with her first child. She has just moved in with her boyfriend and we often share our relationship stories. But I find I often hold back when I tell her about the Student because her current relationship is comparable to mine with the Ex. Her boyfriend does not go out of his way to make her happy; in fact, most everything revolves around him. But he is the father of her baby, so she tends to put up with it. I don't want to shove my near-perfect relationship in her face.
I know how fortunate I am. I want to shout from the rooftops about how happy I am. But I know it is growing old with some people. Hell, over six months ago I would have wanted to slap someone like me across the face just to bring her down a notch. My cousin and the Best Friend are supportive of me and are so happy that I am with someone who treats me right. They are both happily married, so I don't feel like I have to hold back my glee with them. And why wouldn't I want to talk about my boyfriend? The only other thing that consumes my time is my job, and that's usually boring or depressing.
Last weekend, I came across a tumblr page called "Win My Heart". The young writer posts all the various ways a guy can win her heart. It's very cute and satisfies my inner high-schooler. I found myself reading all of the posts, over 100 in total. The Student does over 90% of the things that are listed. This makes my inner high-schooler very happy, as I had always fantasized about having a boyfriend that had all of those qualities. It makes me want to curl up under the covers, crank up Avril Lavigne, and re-read his text messages to me.
It took me 10 years but I finally found him.
I am so incredibly fucking lucky.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
My Mother
Yesterday someone asked me how long the Student and I had been together and was shocked that it was only five and a half months. "You look so comfortable together, I would have thought you were dating much longer." It's been so easy. I like that we haven't had to try really hard to make the relationship work (which, in my opinion, is the way it should be six months in). We love being together and we love spending time together. We look out for each other and take care of each other. We make each other laugh and love each other more than I ever thought was possible. We have talked about moving in together when he is done school in a year, but he will live here with me during the summer months before school starts in the fall as a trail run. We have talked about moving away if he needs to work in another city after he is done his degree. At this point, we both think this is it for us. We couldn't be happier.
I have met both of his parents and several members of his extended family. I have met many of his friends. He has met my dad and step-mom, my brother and sister, and my closest friends. But he has not met my mother.
He really wants to meet my mom. He wants her approval so badly, because he valued his own mother's opinion of me very much. Honestly, if he didn't want to meet her so damn bad, I probably wouldn't bother introducing them. I wish I valued my mom's opinion, but I really don't. It was more important to me that my close friends approved of him.
My mom and I have a very tumultuous relationship. Sometimes she is the perfect mom- loving, supportive, and very kind. Other times, she is a different person- hurtful, selfish, and emotionally abusive. When I first told her that I broke up with the Ex, she was very supportive. She didn't pressure me for details. She trusted that the decision I made was the right one. But now, she tells me that the break-up was like a death in the family. She felt like she lost a son. She acts like the break-up was a very easy decision for me and I just tossed him out like an old newspaper without a second thought and it left her broken hearted.
She refuses to meet the Student. At one point, she had told me she did not want to meet him if the relationship was not serious. She didn't want to go through that loss again if we were to break up. I thought that was a fair (albeit selfish) request, so I didn't push it. But it's been serious for months now, and she still refuses to meet him. However, when I tell her about him, she responds very positively. She knows he treats me very well and makes me very happy. I had told her my frustrations when I was waiting for him to tell me he loved me. She listened and gave me advice. She likes that he seems very similar to my step-dad and appears to be a good match for me. I had even told her about the trouble he had been in years ago, and she took it surprisingly well. But when I ask if she is ready to meet him, she says no. And that's the end of the conversation.
I stopped by to see my mom today as her and my step-dad are leaving on a holiday. I asked her what her plans were for Easter and she mentioned that she was thinking about having me and my siblings over for supper. I asked her if I could invite the Student to join us. She actually scrunched up her face, like a kid who doesn't want to eat their vegetables. She asked why. I said, for the umpteenth time, that he wants to meet her. She asked why. I said because he wants to meet my mother as I had already met his. My mom sighed, like a kid being asked to clean their room. She said she would think about it.
I thought mothers were supposed to want to know who their children are dating, but she just couldn't care less in my case. He could be the biggest ass and treat me like crap but she wouldn't know. Heaven forbid she actually like the guy, and I turn around and dump him. She might get hurt again.
I just don't even know what to think about this anymore. At this point, I only want them to meet because it's important to him. But after the first meeting, I would be perfectly fine if they never see each other again.
I have met both of his parents and several members of his extended family. I have met many of his friends. He has met my dad and step-mom, my brother and sister, and my closest friends. But he has not met my mother.
He really wants to meet my mom. He wants her approval so badly, because he valued his own mother's opinion of me very much. Honestly, if he didn't want to meet her so damn bad, I probably wouldn't bother introducing them. I wish I valued my mom's opinion, but I really don't. It was more important to me that my close friends approved of him.
My mom and I have a very tumultuous relationship. Sometimes she is the perfect mom- loving, supportive, and very kind. Other times, she is a different person- hurtful, selfish, and emotionally abusive. When I first told her that I broke up with the Ex, she was very supportive. She didn't pressure me for details. She trusted that the decision I made was the right one. But now, she tells me that the break-up was like a death in the family. She felt like she lost a son. She acts like the break-up was a very easy decision for me and I just tossed him out like an old newspaper without a second thought and it left her broken hearted.
She refuses to meet the Student. At one point, she had told me she did not want to meet him if the relationship was not serious. She didn't want to go through that loss again if we were to break up. I thought that was a fair (albeit selfish) request, so I didn't push it. But it's been serious for months now, and she still refuses to meet him. However, when I tell her about him, she responds very positively. She knows he treats me very well and makes me very happy. I had told her my frustrations when I was waiting for him to tell me he loved me. She listened and gave me advice. She likes that he seems very similar to my step-dad and appears to be a good match for me. I had even told her about the trouble he had been in years ago, and she took it surprisingly well. But when I ask if she is ready to meet him, she says no. And that's the end of the conversation.
I stopped by to see my mom today as her and my step-dad are leaving on a holiday. I asked her what her plans were for Easter and she mentioned that she was thinking about having me and my siblings over for supper. I asked her if I could invite the Student to join us. She actually scrunched up her face, like a kid who doesn't want to eat their vegetables. She asked why. I said, for the umpteenth time, that he wants to meet her. She asked why. I said because he wants to meet my mother as I had already met his. My mom sighed, like a kid being asked to clean their room. She said she would think about it.
I thought mothers were supposed to want to know who their children are dating, but she just couldn't care less in my case. He could be the biggest ass and treat me like crap but she wouldn't know. Heaven forbid she actually like the guy, and I turn around and dump him. She might get hurt again.
I just don't even know what to think about this anymore. At this point, I only want them to meet because it's important to him. But after the first meeting, I would be perfectly fine if they never see each other again.
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