Just as I have "The Ex", the Student has "His Ex". The Student dated His Ex for about four and a half years cumulatively. She broke up with him the first time as she was mad he was not spending enough time with her. He was in school and she was wanting to party. She broke his heart. They decided to give it a second chance which ended with him initiating the break-up. There were rumors after the break-up that she had been cheating on him while they had been together. He never confronted her with the allegations. They were trying to remain friends as they had know each other for years before they ever dated and had many mutual friends as a result. He decided that remaining friends was more important than beating a dead horse, so to speak. He told me when we first started dating that he was still friends with His Ex. He asked if that would be a problem for us. I asked if there was anything for me to be worried about. He said absolutely not- he broke up with her the second time because their relationship had been based on partying and drugs, and he was living clean. Also, she did not support him going to school, and that was something that was incredibly important to him. She has since had a kid with another guy who she is no longer with, and he is not interested in her in any way. I said that I understood, but that did not mean her and I would ever be friends.
The Student and I spent last Saturday night downtown, pub hopping from pub to pub. We were having a great time when his cell phone rang around midnight. He glanced at the number and said, "Oh it's just my ex." I gave him an exasperated look and asked why the hell His Ex would be calling at midnight on a Saturday. It sounds like a blatant booty call. He said no, she was probably at home with her kid, looking to catch up. Or out partying and wanting us to join her. Or being that they have mutual friends, she was looking to share gossip about someone they know. I didn't buy it. I told him that it was a very uncool move on her part. She knows the Student and I are together, and how much he cares for me. Just like there is "Bro Code", there is "Girl Code". You don't do that when your ex is seeing someone else. Send a text or call during the day. It was incredibly disrespectful to me, someone she has been claiming to want to meet for a few months now.
He asked me if I trust him. I said I trust him 110%, and that wasn't the issue. The problem was His Ex, and how she feels she can just call him up like that. It didn't sit right with me. I had a hard enough time dealing with the fact that he was still friends with her, but this was not okay. I already didn't like her due to the fact that she broke his heart and likely cheated on him (which is a little hypocritical because had she not done that then I would not have met the Student), but this just added to my reasons for hating on her. And I told him that I have no interest in meeting her. They have a long history and I hate that she will know a part of his life that I never will. It's a little threatening.
The Student told me that their history is just that- it's history. Their relationship was based on drugs and hard partying, a lifestyle he left behind when they broke up the second time. He told me that I know things about the person he is now that she will never understand or know. And that's what's important. He loves me and as long as I trust that nothing will ever happen between them, then there is no reason to feel threatened.
I know his is right, and I do trust that he would never betray me. It was a little frustrating that he was being so level headed and mature about it.
Regardless, I don't trust her as far as I can throw her and I still hate her. He's mine. Fuck maturity.
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