The Student found out last week that he has been accepted to a two week field school program on the East Coast in May. He was thrilled, and was excited to make plans for me to meet him there so we can tour the East Coast together for a couple of weeks afterwards. I was incredibly happy for him, and eager to make plans for our holiday.
I had a not-so-great day on Saturday. The stress of the day was wearing on me, and I really wanted time with the Student that night. I knew he was having a "boys' night" at his place, and I had to work until 1am. I texted him and asked him how late he expected his friends to be over. He wasn't sure, but could tell from my texts that I was feeling down. He told me to just come over after I was done work and he would make me the burger he had put aside for me. I really didn't want to intrude on his boys' night, so I asked that he let me know once they were gone and I would come over afterwards no matter how late it was.
He texted me when I just finishing up at work to let me know his friends had all left and that him and his room mate were just hanging out and were a little drunk. When I got to his house, his room mate made me something to eat while I filled the Student in on the events of my day. The three of us started talking about the trip to the East Coast. Last summer, the Student and his room mate spent some time there camping for a couple of weeks. His room mate started sharing stories about their trip, and it was typical guy behaviour: many nights of drinking and smoking pot. I had heard similar stories from another one of his friends the night before when we were out for drinks.
We decided to stay the night at my house, and as soon as we got in my car to leave his place, all of my insecurities spilled out. I asked him if the only stories his friends have of him involve him being drunk or stoned. He was taken aback, and pressured me for an explanation. I said I was starting to really worry about us as I am not the kind of hard partying girl that gets incredibly drunk and I don't smoke weed. If he was expecting our trip to the East Coast to be like that, then he was wrong. I was starting to think we were not the right fit for each other in as many ways as I originally thought. He said he didn't like where the conversation was headed. I felt terrible because my explanation of my concerns were really coming across like I was getting ready to break up with him, which was not my intention. He looked devastated.
When we got home, I was able to get my point across clearly. I see how he parties with his friends, and I was worried that he might decide that he wants to be with a girl who can keep up with that kind of lifestyle. Everything is great now, but would he wake up one day and realize I am not what he wants? I told him that serious feelings were becoming invested in this relationship and if that were to happen, I am scared that I'd be seriously hurt. I just needed reassurance that he knows what kind of a girl I am and he doesn't have any expectation for me to change.
He told me he wouldn't be here if he didn't want to be. He had been with girls that partied harder than him and his friends, and it was not what he wanted in a relationship. To go out with the guys once in awhile and be like that is one thing, but he did not want those qualities in a girl. He said he knows exactly what he is looking for in a woman and I'm it. He's just as scared of getting his heart broken, and he needed reassurance that I wasn't expecting him to change his ways. I reminded him that he has been 100% honest about himself, and as long as I am not hurt by any of the things he does with his friends, I have no issue with it.
We have now reached that point in a relationship where it gets serious. We are realizing that if one of us were to jump ship at this point, the other would be left broken hearted. Even though he has not said he loves me, he made it very clear that he has strong feelings for me.
We stayed up until 6am talking about anything and everything. He told me that he tries his hardest to treat me like a princess. He knows I haven't been treated the way I deserve to be treated, and he wants to be the one who does that for me from the grand gestures of holidays and flowers to the smaller gestures of making my bed and cooking for me.
I am realizing that I can go to him when I am feeling uncertain or scared. He has a way of making me feel very safe and reassured about everything. This is new to me, and I love it.
Maybe we are a better fit than I even originally thought.
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